Okay so this subject is not a normal pantry entry but I think relevant to readers. I realize it is my age as I am in the wedding period of my life. I think about things that have never crossed my mind. A dear friend of mine is getting married this summer and can’t figure out the registry. Something that would seem to be a lot of fun is actually quite stressful. But I feel she is not alone from talking to other brides, grooms, parents of brides & grooms, and friends. Everyone has his or her opinion.
Should they get want they want? Is price a concern? What are practical things you received? Or that impractical gift that you loved? What are things you wish you registered for? Places that were great with registry? Places that were not? Your favorite gift to give? Or any fun story, comment, or thought that might be helpful to other engaged couples.
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Hi Patty! I don’t have any solid suggestions to your topic about registries…I just concur that it is a dilemma! I realize from my daughter’s wedding that she wanted the items for which she registered. However, I don’t like the idea of the bride knowing what items have been purchased each day. It seems to take the surprise element out of the unwrapping of a beautifully adorned package. Also, it feels less personal. I think that the closer I am to a bride or groom, the more important it is to me to select a gift that is meaningful. Again, I have learned from my daughter that the registry is imperative to a young couple just starting a household. I did like the concept of giving my nephew and his bride the jet-skiing experience on their honeymoon in Bora Bora – for which they registered. I’ll be interested to hear what you find from your research! Donna
in 1965 I received a silver pie plate holder from my cousin Ginger….it helped many less than perfect pie crusts lokk elegant
I sympathize with other brides-to-be because I know, being a very indecisive person, I had trouble picking out things for my wedding! My best advice would be to just start registering. If you change your mind, you can always return things as well as add and remove things later. Also, it is much easier to pick things from stores than from online because you can actually hold the items rather than click through hundreds of pages of things that you have no idea how they really look or feel.
Good luck, brides & grooms!
I think registry is a very important part of the marriage process. It is a tradition, and certainly many guests still expect to look through a registry and it also shows what people need, especially china, flatware, or larger (expensive) items. I think registry is important for the bride and groom for these items. However, it also serves as a “guide” for people who may not have as big amount to spend. I don’t think there is any minimum or maximum “rule” but however, there are unacceptable and tacky gifts, ie a group gift is VERY tacky unless it is a significantly large gift given by single, younger friends/relatives. However, in the true nature of gift giving, “it’s the thought that counts.” A bridge and groom should NOT be upset that someone gives them a non-registry gift. On a similar note, I have been in multiple conversations on whether or not a gift is due based on the wedding, most particularly destination weddings. In this case, everyone is required to travel and generally spend more than usual amounts when the wedding is in “exotic” locations. Many think that their attendance is the gift. How can a guest be expected to shell out $1000+ for a trip to Costa Rica then be expected to buy a gift on top of that?? Others feel that something is necessary regardless. I would say a nice bottle of champagne or the like max. In the end, a gift is remembered by the bride and groom. Whether you pick from the registry or get something at your convenience, putting thought into it is the best you can do.
Hi Patty, Gift registries are wonderful! It simplifies the process. You get the things you need, and it makes it easier for the person buying it. The majority of the gifts we received for our wedding that were not on our registry were not our style, or things we needed. I think registries should be at all different price points so everyone can afford something. Anna
Before our wedding, Kenny and I didn’t know where we were going to be moving to so we used a cash registry site. http://www.felicite.com
But since our wedding was overseas, we just wanted guests to come attend the ceremony and receptions! However, for many of my friends who got married, picking out the registry gifts with their spouses was a good way to bond; they got to know each other’s tastes and were able to catch a glimpse of the marriage life. It’s also a great for guests to understand the bride/groom’s preference in interior and such.
When I got married 27 years ago, my crowd didn’t do things like register, but since we were so young, the best things we got were the things to set up housekeeping – kitchen tools, gadgets and appliances, bedding, towels etc. Sure we might have already had some of these, but we certainly wouldn’t have nice things, things that matched or were of a lasting quality. I still have some of them. So my advice is to take the age and situation of the wedding couple into account and there is nothing wrong with practical. I have also heard that a great present is a hand crank ice cream maker – good activity for two!
Here in Italy people really don’t use a registry. The thing most do now is to book their honeymoon and people give towards this. To be honest, I think this is sooo sad and refuse doing this. I tend to give a THUN nativity set, when possible. It is something unique and can be used over the years. It is rather small but can be used easily during the holiday and can be added to.
My mom used to give the Spode Christmas platter with a cookbook for cookies. I have always liked this idea.
I think registries are an excellent tool. For very close friends whose preferences and already-acquired possessions I am familiar with, I usually go off registry. But it is also great to get someone a gift I know they want, because they themselves have envisioned their life and style. Some things that were very helpful to me have been platters, towels, sheets and other practical items. But I never buy something like a mixer or coffee maker, because I think that’s just boring… But part of their china or crystal set or every day dishes is nice. Sometimes I also look for something on the registry that is mostly completed and try to finish that. I think it’s better to have 10 dishes, rather than 3 dishes, 5 wine glasses, 2 towels, etc. One of my favorite gifts, though was a Home Depot gift card. We bought roses and some fruit trees and now we can will always remember that friend’s special gift to us, and can share fruit and flowers w/them through the years.
As a friend of your parents, I am from another generation, but I think the rules have changed. It used to be considered in poor taste to setup more than 1 registry.
Now, since most people getting married are merging 2 households that may be full of stuff, I think multiple registries make sense.
Macy’s or Bloomingdales for the fancy stuff, Crate and Barrel for casual and a store like Target for just stuff. Often, the older generation does not know the couple well and looks to the registry for guidance.
I notice that the less expensive items are usually purchased first on most registries. So, go to Target and walk the aisles with the registry scanner. You just scan the bar code of anything you want and it ends up on your registry. They even have high thread count sheets–not Sferra, but OK quality. This avoids the problem so many couples have–many gifts they would not choose themselves and do not want to keep in their 1 bedroom apartment–and no way to exchange them. This may sound materialistic, but it’s practical.