Recently, my grandmother passed away; before she died I was fortunate enough to spend some time with her.
There were a few things she said to me about our generation and waning manners: #1 opening of doors for women has gone to the way side and #2 she was saddened by the fact that it is no longer instinctual to say: “yes maâ€™am” and “no sir.”
These are just some thoughtful ideas to remember for the future. I wish I had more time to spend with her; she was a wealth of knowledge with one of the most incredible minds I have ever encountered.
Patty, your story reminds me about something my grandmother said to me about cooking, â€œI never knew a good cook who lost her husband.â€ Yes, she was definitely from a different generation than you and me, but I think thereâ€™s something to be said about appreciating the creator, whose tasty food we so enjoy.
One interesting thing about etiquette is that it hasnâ€™t translated perfectly into modern life. For example, I always try to open the door for a lady but it is not as clear cut with a revolving door. Given that the first person has to apply all the pressure, it is recommended that the man proceed first so that his inertia will assist the lady who comes after him. That said, I have definitely been given weird looks when I go first as most women are not aware of that rule.
Another example is the opening of a taxi, isnâ€™t it recommended that the man proceed first so the women doesnâ€™t have to slide over.
I would recommend gentlemen read etiquette section on the following site http://shelovesny.com/etiquette/home.html to learn more of the subtle nuances to the traditional rules of behavior.
I thought I’d share some wisdom from my grandmother – in the spirit of the sage advice on your site.
My grandmother believes that, at a restaurant, you should never have to ask for water or bread (or refills of either).