Aug 042006
 

It is hard to believe that cell phones have not been around forever. I try and remember what life was like without one and it is just too hard to imagine. Although, there have not been any real social guidelines set to follow. As a result, everyone has just developed their own. I will admit I am trying to get better

I am curious what everyone thinks?

When is it really appropriate to pick up when you are with other people?

Should you pick it up and say you can’t talk and call back later?

Do missed calls without messages require a call back?

Can you ever leave your phone on the table during dinner?

Use in Public? Walking down the street versus on a bus?

Let me know what rules you follow with your cell..lets save all texting comments for another time that is another subject matter!

 Posted by at 5:57 pm

  10 Comments to “Cell Phones”

  1. no answering while out to eat unless absolutely necessary in which case it should be kept very short.
    no long conversations while in the car with only one other person. i find it extremely rude! :)

  2. hmm. i’ve definately been guilty of a few of the sbove “cell phone sins.” i think if you’re in close proximity to others (bus, train, out to dinner), phone calls should be succinct and limited to coordination of plans. save the long drawn out gossipy calls for when you get home!

  3. Never leave your phone on the table at dinner or answer a call when at dinner (especially if it’s just you and one other person…) The one exception would be if it’s someone meeting you who may be lost or who is letting you know their plane just landed, train is delayed, etc. (..that or it’s your wife and she’s 8 1/2 months pregnant…) Okay to use phone when walking down the street but not on a bus or any other place where those around you are pretty much forced to listen in on your conversation. The “Do missed calls w/o a message require a callback” question is a toughie….if you barely know the person, I say no. If you know the person pretty well and figure all they would have said on the message is “Hi, it’s me, call me back” then yes, I call them back…that’s my 2 c.

  4. I think you could get away with answering a call at a restaurant which I try to avoid as much as I can. But when I have people over for dinner I don’t get shy sharing my phone etiquette.

  5. I must say that it’s fine to pick up the phone when you’re with other people- as long as its not just you and one other person- and unless you are sitting at a table/eatting.

    As for picking up and telling someone you’re busy and will call them back, why pick up at all?

    And missed calls without a message requiring a call back… I would say, if they didn’t have the time to leave you a message, then let them call back. Unless its a close friend, in which case cell-phone rules are probably relaxed in any case!

  6. In general, I think that a cell phone should be treated similar to a regular phone when you’re amongst others at a gathering. If you are engaged in a full conversation or party, it is probably best to just let it ring. Same concept when at the dinner table, it is rude to talk while at dinner. However, a more colloquial setting may be permissable. If you are spending time with friends it is ok, on a date maybe not so. All in all, cell phones provide an easy out of a situation and can make you appear uninterested or unengaged with the group or person you are currently with.

    To answer specifically…
    When is it really appropriate to pick up when you are with other people?
    -Appropriate if you are expecting a call you would need to take, but should best attempt to excuse yourself from a conversation or group and go to a private place. If you cannot get out without politely ending conversation, then let it go to VM and call back when you get first chance.

    Should you pick it up and say you cant talk and call back later?
    -You can do this, but I feel most people on the other end find that annoying, just let it go to voicemail.

    Do missed calls without messages require a call back?
    -Depends on the person calling. If you know them (friend or fam), not necessarily. If you don’t recognize the number, no – you wouldn’t do it on a real phone. If you do recognize the number but don’t know why that person/office/etc is calling, you may want to call back. Generally if someone wants to talk to you they will leave a message. If they dont’ then they’re just calling to chat or share their boredom.

    Can you ever leave your phone on the table during dinner?
    -I would say absolutely not, very rude even in colloquial settings. It suggests you are waiting for something more important than what is going on.

    Use in Public? Walking down the street versus on a bus?
    -Use in public is fine, but only with attention given to certain factors. Try not to use it in confined places, ie Bus, Subway, etc. If you have to, monitor your “cell yell.” There is no reason to yell into the phone, and if it is that hard to hear, wait till you get out in an open space. Otherwise, walking down street, in a lobby, waiting in line fine…just be conscious of “cell yell” and do not have strange/inappropriate conversations within lasting earshot of others.

    In public spaces, I answer if I need to, but try to move to a more private part of that public space.

    When I’m with others I try not to pick up unless I’m coordinating plans involving those I’m with, or if I think it’s an emergency. When it’s someone I want to have an actual conversation with, I tend to mute the ring and let it go to voicemail.

    When it comes to people answering only to say they can’t talk, I must admit I get miffed when people pick up only to tell me that. It would be so much more efficient if I could just leave them a message and let them call me back at their leisure. Of course, it’s okay if they can only talk for a few minutes and want to arrange a better time to talk. That makes good sense.

    As for calls without messages, if it’s someone I was expecting to hear from, I call back. If not, I let them call me back.

  7. The interesting part of this question is certainly that technological change leads to social change… But there is always a lag. Technology often lead us to become lazy and to lose awareness of ourselves, others and our surroundings.
    I think that the funniest part of this new habit (a high dependency on constant communication) is when people put their cell phone on a restaurant table just in case it rings. It is like being back in the Old West, and we are not a gunslinger sitting down to a game of poker in the saloon.
    When you want to pick up your phone (if it is really important, time sensitive…), just think it is like carrying on another conversation with someone who is physically in your presence. When you do so, you don’t interrupt suddenly your conversation with other people… sometimes it is as simple as adapting the “old” etiquette to the new technology…

    Patty, your Internet site is really great and full of great information! And this is a good idea to mix Etiquette and Food! I would love to hear your recommandation on how to eat finger foods, a lobster, frog’s legs (always senstive for a frenchman)… in order to avoid both humiliation and the dry cleaner!

  8. as a senior citizen..cells are wonderful and offer a safety and security net…remember as we get older our hearing isn’t what it was..so if you must use a cell..go to separate space ..also set button to a higher vol…remember..everyone else hears highest vol…

  9. It all depends on 1)who is calling 2) Whether the call is about plans or is probably just to chat, and 3) whether I am in a lage group (so they can entertain each other), or with only one other person.

  10. When is it really appropriate to pick up when you are with other people?

    *When you’ve warned people that you are expecting an important call, and that call comes.

    *When the caller is a family member or significant other and they might not be calling just to chat, and you excuse yourself from the area of conversation.

    Should you pick it up and say you can’t talk and call back later?

    *No. All calls do not need to be answered (though in today’s world you wouldn’t know it). It is acceptable to let someone go to voicemail.

    Do missed calls without messages require a call back?

    *Sometimes yes, sometimes no. Close friends often don’t leave messages because they know that I know that seeing a missed call is reason enough to call back. With acquaintances, it’s less clear. In fact, it’s almost rude to call someone you don’t know very well and not leave a message.

    Can you ever leave your phone on the table during dinner?

    *Never. Not ever.

    Use in Public? Walking down the street versus on a bus?

    *Walking down the street is fine unless you walk in front of traffic. All enclosed public areas require muted conversation, or no conversation at all.

    Let me know what rules you follow with your cell..lets save all texting comments for another time that is another subject matter!

    *In general I try to avoid using my phone when talking/meeting with others. I never use it indoors when others are trying to read/study/eat/not listen to me talk to my friends. I take the conversation outside, or at least away from most ppl. Also, I try not to take calls in loud areas because it’s rude to the caller. And when I know a call is cutting in and out I just hang up. It saves everyone the “YOU’RE CUTTING IN AND OUT CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW??!”

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